


Next Door Lovers

by littlebirdlara



Series: A different time, same feelings (Modern AU stories) [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drug Abuse, M/M, Nothing too explicit, and other shit that is part of life, mentions of abuse, mentions of depression, obito drives a bike in this because i say so, that's literally it - Freeform, two messes fall in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 10:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20638025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebirdlara/pseuds/littlebirdlara
Summary: Reality hits Kakashi like a brick in the face, when he wakes up next to the man he hasn't seen in over a decade.





	1. Starting the Engine

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written something as long as this, but I hope I managed to keep the writing consistent all the way to the end!  
I apologize beforehand if they're both a bit out of character, too. Still, I hope some of you find some parts in this to enjoy!

_VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR._  
The overwhelming sound of an engine roaring right underneath his window wakes Kakashi up. He directs his weary eyes to the phone placed on his night table and picks it up with a slug-like motion: slow. Terribly slow. A push on the unlock-button and the screen lights up – blinding his vision completely. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust and make sense of his surroundings; he stares at the numbers flashing on the screen, time ticking away. 3:24 AM.

  
Whoever was responsible for the noise outside owed him big time for the sleep he would miss out on. Not that he usually got much of that to begin with. He closes his eyes and starts counting the hours with his last remaining energy, lifting one finger at a time. One. Two. Three. If he fell asleep _right now, _he could get in about three more hours of shut-eye before he would inevitably have to drag himself out of bed again. He should blame himself for agreeing to take over the early shift. _Who_ does that? Only someone with no self-preservation instinct. Someone like Kakashi. He lets the phone flop down on his stomach, before turning his attention to his best friend – the ceiling. For a while he just stares, letting thoughts drift through his being. They grow mushy, as sleep slowly drapes itself over his mind like a blanket. He drifts off...  
  
  
_BUZZ! BUZZ!_  
The vibrations from the alarm travel through his body at 6:20 AM sharp. With a groan, Kakashi slams the snooze-button and immediately throws the phone out of bed. Today was going to be long and tiring; he already felt it in the weight of his bones.  
He was dangerously close to falling asleep again, when the feeling of something licking at his feet startles him awake.

  
"Urnghh, _Pakkun!_"

  
His tired eyes meet equally tired ones. Except, unlike him, his dog couldn't change the way his face looked. Still showing no signs of getting up, Kakashi feels himself merge with the mattress again. He tries to ignore it, but the judging stare of his pug Pakkun remains persistent.

  
"Stop giving me that look. I'm getting up, alright?"

  
With that said, he lifts himself up - shooing his dog out of the room. The tapping sound of his paws lead straight to the kitchen where, no doubt, the rest of his dogs were already awaiting him as well.

Kakashi looks at the pack of expectant faces staring back at him as he puts his pants on lazily.

  
"Hungry?"

  
He barely finished speaking before the sound of tails wagging against hard kitchen tiles resounds through the room. A blur of various shades of brown and grey rush around his feet, eagerly awaiting a refill, as he makes his way to the kitchen storage.  
  
Kakashi shakes the bag of dog food and remarks that he would have to buy more soon. Maybe he could convince his best friend Gai to do that for him. Speaking of, he should be stopping by any minute now to pick up the dogs for a morning walk. Somehow that man found the energy within himself to get up at 5 AM every day to go for a jog - he was inhuman like that. A quick glance outside shows that today was no different. Gai was currently running on the spot, grin wide and proud, waving back at Kakashi who was anything but impressed at the sight. Kakashi opens the window, already bracing himself for overly energetic conversation.

  
"Good morning, rival!"

Still with the rival. Just because they happened to be in the same sport competition in high school once. Apparently he would never let go of that. Just like the green spandex he was never seen without. The color was almost as glaringly bright as the smile directed at him. A smile so bright, Kakashi wonders why he's never seen him in a toothpaste commercial.

  
"Mornin'... Remind me why you're waiting outside instead of coming in? You should have my keys."

  
"What a question! I can't just interrupt my run while I wait for you to wake up. Oh! You mean to say that I could use the stairs inside the house to get some extra workout in? Clever! I should have expected nothing less!"

  
No, that's definitely not what he meant to imply, at all. But Kakashi has learned to just follow the flow when it came to green spandex man over here.

  
"Sure... Anyway, here for the dogs?"

  
“As always!"

  
"Hold on, I'll bring them down with me."  
  
With a resounding click, Kakashi locks the door to his apartment. He steals a quick glance at the door next to his. Still empty. It was only a matter of time before someone new would move in. He hopes it was going to be someone quiet – the walls in this place were way too thin. Something he had to find out in a rather unpleasant way. But the couple living there had moved out recently, so that wouldn't cost him sleep anymore.

__________

The library Kakashi worked in was small; but its worn out, dark wooden shelves provided a familiar touch that had its charm. What made it particularly popular among locals was the separate reading area on the top floor: lined up mahogany tables leading to large windows that reached from the ceiling to the floor – which should be letting in the first shimmers of daylight by now. The room was densely decorated with all sorts of plants that put even the most stressed student at ease. Kakashi would often nap there in a quiet corner during breaks. The thought of it alone almost made him doze off at the counter, but he was snapped out of it by a woman's cheerful voice.

"Good morning, 'Kashi! Sleep well~?" Rin practically beams at him as she opens the door to the library, but her expression quickly changes when she gets to fully assess the miserable state he was in.

  
"You look like shit.”

She was probably right.

  
"Thanks. I try my best", he replies to her usual jab before letting out another yawn. He was definitely going to need coffee to get through this day. A lot of it.

  
"Don't tell me you drank."

  
"Nah”, he runs his fingers along the grain of the wood, “some asshole revved their bike in the middle of the night. Right under my place."

“Huh, that sucks”, she simply states, hands on her hips.

  
"Wait, did you say bike?", Rin says with a playful smile on her lips. If Kakashi weren't too tired to even bother existing, he would play along. But knowing Rin, she wouldn't need him to egg her on to continue. His suspicions were quickly confirmed when she opened her mouth again.

  
"Didn't you say your neighbors moved out recently?" There's a mischievous glint to her eye. "What if it's your new neighbor. A hot, hot biker boy."

  
"_Rin_", he sends her a look that should tell it all.

  
"_Kakashi_. You keep dragging your lonely ass here every day. I'm simply making sure you keep your eyes peeled for the next opportunity."

  
"It's too early for this."

  
"It's always too early! But guess what. You're not getting any younger. Look. While we're already on this topic-”_ Oh no._ “I'm going to grab some drinks with Konan after work. She's bringing a couple of friends... I'm bringing some of mine~", she pointedly looks at him.

  
"Forget it. I'll just go pass out the moment we're done here. My head is buzzing enough as is."

  
"Really? Because I heard one of her friends just recently moved back into town... and apparently he's _really_ _built_”, she drops off a pile of books at the counter for Kakashi to catalog, “I think you'll like him."

  
There she goes, playing her trump card. Kakashi suddenly becomes painfully aware of how obvious his type is from his past relations._ How long has it been?_ Too long. He quickly brushes away the thought before he feels even more miserable.

  
"Fine", he sighs, "but I won't be staying long. Just a few drinks."  
  
  
__________

  
  
Kakashi got absolutely shitfaced.

  
He blames it on the frustration he felt from the lack of sleep, as well as the lack of... other things. Whatever the reason, and he didn't really need any, something made the idea of forgetting himself really attractive. Just like the man he's been trying very hard not to stare at this entire night. But that was essentially all he's been doing. His eyes scan the man's features yet another time: Tall, strong stature. Broad shoulders. Toned muscles stretching the fabric of his clothes with every movement. Tousled dark hair, wild in nature, only to be rivaled by the ferocity of the scars etched into the right half of his face which seemed to continue down to his body. His gaze wanders back up. The scar on his lower lip in particular catches his attention. For a moment, he imagines what it would feel like against his.

When he looks at him again, their eyes meet. The dim light of the bar drowns the stranger's face in an aura which only accentuated the intense look in his dark eyes. Everything about this man's appearance seemed to have an edge to it, but Kakashi didn't mind it at all. It might as well have been the alcohol ruling over any coherent thinking at this point, but he liked what he saw. He was turned on. Not that it should surprise anyone, when that piece of meat was casually leaning with his back against the counter like that – swirling the contents of his glass in his hand, as if he had something better to do. If that's what he wanted, Kakashi could give it to him. God, he is way too far gone.

He watches him talk to Konan briefly, before she returns to sit beside Rin. So this must be _the friend._ Kakashi mutters a curse at Rin for knowing him so well.  
  
Clearly Kakashi was not very subtle. By the time the fifth shot kicks in, it only gets harder not to be blatantly obvious with his ogling. So much so that Rin had already nudged him several times to try and get him to make his move. But he was nowhere near in the right head space to pull it off without completely embarrassing himself in the process - which is exactly what he was doing now as he downed one more shot before stumbling his way towards the man.

  
"I think I've seen your face before... Come here often?"

  
_Great start._

  
The dark-haired man snorts into the glass he had brought to his lips.

  
"Has that ever worked for you before?"

  
"I– don't think I've tried that one up till now."

  
Kakashi watches him set the glass aside, then prop himself against the counter in a way that bares his chest, stretching the fabric around his pecs. _What a tease._

  
"Why don't you try that one again then", the man says tipping his head back, smile cocky and all teeth.

  
_Fuck it._ He's already done his worst, he might as well go all out.  
Kakashi steps close enough to make their bodies meet. He tentatively runs a hand up the man's toned body, riding up his shirt along the way. He looks him directly into the eyes.

  
"Sucking at pick-up lines is not the only thing I'm good at."

Somehow that was even worse.  
  
But it seemed to have worked. He barely finished his sentence when he feels a grip on his hand.

  
"Trust me, you will regret this."

  
"I already regret most of my life. What's one more thing to add to the list?"

  
That earned him a chuckle and the grip on his hand loosens.

  
"You're wasted. Go home."

  
"Maybe... but you're coming with me."

  
Then the dark haired man looms over him, face just inches apart from his.

  
"See, this is what we're not going to do. I call the shots here."

  
Kakashi feels the husky voice on his skin more than he hears it – it drives him crazy.

Not willing to hold back any longer, he's about to close what little distance is left between them, when the other man backs away. He would have been disappointed, had it not been for the words that follow immediately after.

"Come to my place. It's nearby."

__________

  
  
Kakashi doesn't remember much after leaving the bar. Door hastily locked as bodies pressed flush against each other. Clothes desperately torn off and tossed to the side. Voices hushed at first, then loud and demanding. _More._ The sound of skin meeting skin lashing through the room, before everything came crashing down and the night faded to black.

  
As if he had lived last night through a haze, he wakes with a cloudy feeling enveloping his body. For a brief moment he wonders if it was just a dream, but one quick glance to his side confirms that it was all real. He stares bleary-eyed at what had to be the back of the man he had slept with. Trying to recall last night's events, his eyes trail down the trace of scars that marked the man's body... nope, he had no idea how he got here.

Best not dwell too much on it anyway, as he was supposed to be getting out of here. Last time he had decided to stick around after a hookup ended in a four year long relationship... that ended with a broken heart. And that's something he didn't want to risk happening again. Carefully, he removes the bed sheets that stuck to his body. Then his heart almost stops. When the other man turns around, groaning something in his sleep, Kakashi recognizes him. Face now framed clearly in the morning light, there is no doubt about it. Scars aside, it shouldn't have taken him so long to recognize him in the first place, even under the influence of alcohol.

Lying next to him is Obito, his childhood friend out of all people, whom he hadn't seen in _years_. _Fuck._ If that wasn't going to bring back a lot of unwanted memories... He might have to consult a bottle about this later. But _now_ he really had to get out of here. He tries to ignore the plain fact that he had hooked up with him instead of, you know, holding a normal conversation. There was no way he could do that now.

_Hey, Obito, I know we fucked last night, but maybe we should talk about what happened years ago and how that really changed me._  
Yeah, right.

  
Even more determined to get out of here before the other man woke, he scrambles to pick up his clothes – ignoring the stench of the bar as best as he could when he puts them on. Too much in a hurry to notice the many cardboard boxes scattered across the floor, he trips - a loud _THUD _echoes through the empty apartment. Lifting himself up, Kakashi makes for the door; quickly, before he ended up waking the entire housing complex.

  
His hand falls on the handle – metal cold beneath his nervous, hot skin. He sighs. Then he hears a chuckle.

  
"Told you, you would regret it."

  
Kakashi turns around to face Obito, who was leaning against the door frame and honestly a sight to behold in his shirtless and bed-haired state. Seeing the bruises forming on his skin sent his mind back to last night... _Okay, no_. He really had to leave.

  
"Let's pretend this never happened."

  
The words rush out sooner than he did out of the flat.

  
"Sure. See you around, _Bakakashi_" , he hears the old nickname lazily roll off his tongue.

  
_Absolutely not._ For the time being, getting him out of his face was his highest priority.

For more than a decade he had wondered where Obito left off to, what happened to him, and how he should react in case they ever met again. Banging him definitely never made it to the list. But reality smacked him in the face and it was in the shape of a half naked man staring at him bemusedly with crossed arms. He would have to avoid him, he decides. At least until he figured out how to feel about this entire thing.

  
"See you." _Probably not._

  
Kakashi is about to storm off but almost immediately comes to a halt when he recognizes the hall he was standing in. That is his door. To his flat. Right next to Obito's. The sound of dogs shuffling behind it remind him to stay in this plane of existence. 

Suddenly the mess he witnessed earlier, cardboard boxes and unarranged furniture, come into focus. He has gotten a head start on getting to know his new neighbor, apparently. This would definitely be the source of a sleepless night, and many more to come.


	2. Looking Back

Groggily, Kakashi pushes through the library door. The events of this morning had stressed him out so much, he had forgotten to do something about his hangover. Needless to say, his head was now killing him even more than the day before.  
  
"I didn't think it was possible, but you look even worse today."  
  
Rin throws him a quick glance while sorting through books.  
  
"I can't believe you tried to hook me up with Obito. _Obito._"

Kakashi doesn't bother hiding the accusing tone when he stresses the weight that name holds. He takes some books from the pile and heads to the shelf right behind her. Hopefully she would get the cue that he wasn't feeling up for interacting with people today. Not that he ever did.

  
"Nuh-uh. Don't pin this on me. I didn't know myself _he_ was Konan's friend until he came in... Fate sure does interesting things sometimes."

  
Rin finishes the pile and leaves to stand behind the counter, reading Kakashi's intentions like a book. She props herself up on her elbows, leaning forward.

  
“I would never ever have expected to see you so into him... especially after... _you know._"

Oh, _he knows._

  
"Let's not go there. Besides, I'm not into him."  
  
He already knew what she was playing at, so he tries to knock that out of her head as fast as possible.

  
"You're not?" She asks, voice laced with a smile.

  
"It's Obito?" He replies, as if the name was answer enough.

  
"Sure didn't seem to stop you from practically throwing yourself at him."

  
"It's not my fault when he looks like _that_ now."

  
There's a snicker coming from the direction of the counter.

  
"Don't say it."

  
The snickering now has evolved into full laughter.

  
"You're into him."

  
There's a frustrated groan between the bookshelves. A few curious heads turn.

  
"So, what are you going to do about it?" She eventually eggs on.

  
"Implying I ever intended to do anything at all", Kakashi retorts almost bitterly, putting the last book of the pile in its rightful place. Maybe a bit too forcefully.

  
"You can't be serious–"

Rin cuts herself short as she sees people approaching the counter. Silence returns to the entrance section of the library while she helps some students with their books. Later, Kakashi comes by to pick up the newly formed book piles and load them onto the tray. He already anticipates that the conversation from earlier is going to continue.

  
"How long has it been?"

There it is. He thinks for a bit.

  
"18 years, I'm almost sure."

  
"And you're just going to avoid him?" The way she manages to squeeze both disbelief and reproach between the space of each word never fails to impress him.

  
He replies dead-pan, "Gotta keep the streak going."

  
The judging look he earns is honestly well deserved.

  
"In case you forgot, we didn't exactly leave on good terms", he decides to elaborate.

  
"So what! It's been _years”, _she drags out the letters of the word, “You're an adult now, for god's sake. I think you've both been miserable long enough. Things have changed.”

  
"How do you know?"

  
"I've talked to him last night. You know, with words”, he chooses to ignore hearing that, “He seems to have mellowed out. Also, 18 years is a long time for things to be different. Takes no genius to figure that out. And you _are_ one."

  
It really is a long time. And Kakashi is not sure how to deal with it. New feelings were scraping away at old ones that had settled in his bones, exposing the marrow. Rin was right, he couldn't hold the image of the boy he knew against the Obito of the present. Whatever kind of person he was now. But it was hard to start with a clean slate when the foundation was already marked with so much history.  
  
After that conversation, work got really busy; with exam season fast approaching, students have been filing in all day. Kakashi is grateful that he was spared from the counter today. That way, he would have most of the day to himself, mind drifting between the spaces of bound pages - worn but well-kept. Occasionaly lost faces asked for help, eyes looking equally exhausted from life as his. He really doesn't miss that time, now that he thinks about it.

__________

  
  
Bag full of groceries swinging back and forth with every step, Kakashi is well on his way towards the dreaded destination – _Home._ Usually he looked forward to just locking himself in and blocking out the rest of the world by reading until the night crept too far along the edge of the pages, drowning out the shape of the words. Most nights he was content doing just that. But knowing that _he _lived in the same place now, made the nearby park bench seem all the more comfortable to pass out on. Maybe he could even live there. Gai could feed his dogs in his stead. It wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Now approaching the front door to the housing complex, Kakashi considered his options. There were none. Unless he planned on entering his flat through his window for the rest of his life. _Great._ Moving on. He mentally braces himself for an encounter, then he enters the hallway. He had at least thought ahead far enough to prepare an excuse not to talk.

He walks up the stairs to the second floor and welcomes the sound of silence. It was only perturbed by shoes hitting cold tiles made of stone, soon muffled by carpet. Against the wall of silence, even the slightest disruption left its mark. Even the distinct _Click_ of his keys unlocking the door seemed unusually loud. _Wait._

Just as he opens the door and first patches of fur circle around his feet in greeting, another one opens. Kakashi closes his eyes and lets out a pained sigh. Somehow life kept finding new ways to punish him. He looks to the side to see his _beloved_ neighbor stepping outside, putting on a leather jacket - and he looked good in it. Because of course he did. He seemed too caught up in his own mind to acknowledge Kakashi's presence. Which was a blessing within itself.

Kakashi was about to close the door behind him, when he heard Obito's voice. Reluctantly, he turns around just to see him gesturing towards his mouth.

"What's up with the mask? Relapse?"

  
Kakashi almost forgot he had put a health mask on. Then he remembers why he did it in the first place.

  
"No, I'm sick."

  
"Oh”, Obito looked him over with an expression that told him absolutely nothing, “Yeah, you look _terrible._"

_Asshole. _There was no way his acting was that good. It's one thing if Rin says it – because it's true – but it feels like an actual insult coming from him. For some reason, his first instinct is to say something equally mean back. It's like he's about to fall back into the pace he used to keep with him years ago. Before the whole fallout.

  
"Need me to get something for you?" Obito quickly offers, as if to make things even more difficult by not acting indifferent. This was unexpected. Obito was acting so... neighborly.

  
"Ahah, it's fine... Really."

He feels a bit lost at words. The entire time he had been slowly moving the door shut, so he barely catches Obito's reply. Which, oddly enough, sounded a lot like a _Take care._  
The door closes and Kakashi runs a hand through his hair. _What the fuck?_ Does Obito just not remember or is he making an effort to start over? Maybe Kakashi really was too hung up on the past, like people told him.

__________

  
_After weeks – weeks! – of having been ignored and avoided, Kakashi had had enough. Obito would have to tell him what has gotten into him if he intended to stay on his good side. He had noticed the boy's grades getting even worse than they already were. Absent-minded at best when he was present, easily irritated and getting in trouble at his worst, the boy had turned into the school's local menace. _

_Kakashi almost didn't recognize his friend any longer and that scared him. Because this wasn't who he grew up with. None of that brightness and warmth that clashed with his own grumpy self constantly. These days the opposite seemed to be the case, actually. Almost as if Kakashi was trying to make up for the sudden lack of positivity for the both of them. But it wasn't easy. He didn't know how Obito did it so effortlessly all the time. Well, used to._

_But this had to stop. Whatever was going through his friend's mind, he was sure he could help. If only Obito _talked_ about it! Then again, he wasn't exactly in the right position to hold that against him. Still, this radio silence was killing him. Especially after how at ease they were with each other before – finally, after having put their differences aside. The way they talked to each other was sometimes brutal, but always honest. And some honesty is what Obito definitely owed him right now.  
_

_  
"Hey, Obito."_

_  
Kakashi called out to the long haired boy walking out of class. He already knew he was going to get ignored, so he didnt even bother waiting for a reply._

_  
"Obito", he repeated._

_  
Nothing._

_  
He followed him outside and grabbed his arm._

_  
"You need to tell me what's up with you. Right now."_

_  
"I have nothing to say to you. So piss off, Bakakashi", he felt the venom from the nickname seep into his skin. Obito shrugged off his hand forcefully and turned on his heel to walk off. Again, expected._

  
"You've never been much for confrontation. I should have known you would bail.”

_Kakashi didn't really mean to put so much bite into his remark, but he also felt like this was the only way to get his attention._

_  
For a moment he just stared at Obito's back. He had halted in his steps. Good, it worked. Kakashi watched his shoulders tense before he dropped his bag. The air in the hallway felt loaded with tension, sending a shock of electricity through his skin, paralyzing any movement. It happens fast. So fast that Kakashi doesn't realize he's been pushed against the locker until a dull pain spread over his head from where he had hit it._

_  
"I was doing you a favor by staying away."_

_  
He felt the grip around his collar tighten as the next words lashed out on him._

  
"Guess I forgot you never appreciate the good that people do for you until it's too late."

_  
Ouch. Surely, he didn't have to go that far._

_  
Upon probably seeing his hurt expression, Obito pushed him one more time before backing away._

  
"Just forget it. Forget me."

_The hair covered his face as he cast his gaze downwards towards his belongings._

_"It's my fault anyway."_

_  
_What do you mean?_ ...is what Kakashi would have liked to ask. But something about this entire situation caught in his throat like a massive lump that made it impossible to talk. He watched Obito reach down to pick up his bag and look back at him, as if giving him one final chance to speak his mind. He said nothing. He couldn't. What was there to say, when he had no idea what was going on? Apparently taking the silence as answer enough, Obito walked away. The expression Kakashi saw was impossible to place: raw emotion overflowing, but also somehow... _empty.

_  
Suddenly the words Kakashi wanted to say flooded his mind all at once, but by the time he had opened his mouth to unleash them, Obito was already long gone. He promised himself to reach out to him next time, not knowing that was the last time they saw each other._

_Unspoken words and an endless cascade of Why's crashed down in the space between them, furthering the distance over time as happier memories faded away – sealed away behind the cold iron walls of a school locker._  
  
__________

An entire week passes and Kakashi's efforts of avoiding Obito have been fruitless. He might have had a chance, if he didn't meet that man practically everywhere he went to. Living in the same city was one thing, but living right next to each other made it almost impossible to avoid one another. Although he didn't get the impression that Obito was avoiding him - not with him practically appearing out of thin air at all times.

All things considered, it shouldn't surprise him to see a familiar face a few aisles ahead in the supermarket - and it doesn't. In fact, the accidental encounters between them kept piling up enough to have him keep up his act of being sick. Although, he would soon have to think of a new barrier to put between them if he didn't want Obito to believe he was terminally ill. Even his friends had been asking if his asthma had returned.

  
Absent-mindedly, he drops some bags of dog food into his cart before continuing on. He was about to pass by Obito, who seemed to be really into a conversation with a boy who was impossible not to recognize – Naruto. Unruly blonde hair and eyes so blue they shined almost as bright as his smile when he talked, he truly was the spitting image of his parents.  
  
Naruto was one of the many students who frequent his library. There were times when he even used to tutor and watch over him, by relentless request of his father, Minato. That was before he passed away, leaving behind a child which held too much hope, and a teenager who had already forgotten such a thing existed. He owed everything to that man who took care of him when he was suddenly left with nothing – so it was only natural he would accept the request of taking care of his son in return. But said son was a senior now. He could take care of himself. The thought filled Kakashi with pride and melancholy.  
  
However, it was a bit unusual to see Naruto by himself, as he recently seemed to spend a lot of time with a certain other raven-haired boy. He seemed happier because of it. Good for him, he deserves it. But why he was talking to Obito, of all people, with such a sense of familiarity, surprised him. For a moment, he considers staying nearby to listen to what they were talking about, but he quickly remembers himself. He pushes the cart forward and – of course – bumps into Obito, who lets out a barely audible _Oof_ upon impact. Apparently their conversation had ended and he had turned to leave.

  
"Yo, Obito. Sorry about that."

  
Kakashi made a point not to look him directly in the eye before he got any dumb ideas again. Like_ talking_ to him. But Obito clearly had different intentions. He placed his hand on the edge of the shopping cart, stopping it from further movement.

  
"Don't tell me you're still sick", Obito peered at him, smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

  
He's probably been found out.

  
"Maa, it's getting better."

There was no way he could salvage this.

  
Kakashi usually wasn't a bad liar, but he felt like this time he performed particularly badly. He tries not to laugh at himself, repressed laughter twisting his mouth noticeably - which thankfully no one can see because of the mask. He kind of misses the perks of having to wear one constantly.

  
"Ah, Kakashi-sensei!"

Naruto peeks from behind Obito and gives Kakashi a wide grin. Hearing the honorary suffix even after no longer being his teacher warms his heart.

"Already done with your shift?"

  
Bless that ray of sun, no matter how much of a little shit he could be. Maybe he would be able to provide an excuse for him to leave.

  
"Yeah, I managed to escape the evening rush.”

Just the thought of the book piles that would tower over him tomorrow made him shudder. At least he wouldn't have to deal with the administrative chaos that would ensue. Thank god Rin lost that drinking game.

  
"Unghh, don't remind me. I have to get back in there!"

  
"Right, you'll be writing your exams too. Good luck!" He gives him a thumbs up.

  
"Thanks, but I won't need it", Naruto says almost cheekily, "I've got Sasuke helping me out this time."

  
It's true the Uchiha was a prodigy, but he wondered how much studying those two would actually get done with their constant bickering. Back then, those brats tugged at his strings of patience to the point of tearing them. Now he remembers that time fondly. Sometimes Kakashi misses tutoring, he thinks to himself.

  
"Oh, you work at the library?" Obito then says, "Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

  
Great. Thanks to their little conversation he seems to have deduced where he worked at. Which only heightened the risk of further encounters.

  
"You know each other?" Naruto throws an inquisitive glance at the both of them, "Great! You can ask Kakashi-sensei more about Sasuke then. I gotta get back!"

Naruto pats Obito on the back and rushes past, turning around the corner, barely stopping on his feet to quickly wave at Kakashi before heading to the checkout.

"See you tomorrow!"

  
Kakashi blinks. Did he just condemn him to spend time with Obito? He had to admit he was curious about what he could possibly want from Sasuke. Maybe some unresolved family matters? Knowing the Uchihas, there were a lot of those. He stops his train of thought with a sigh. Maybe this was the point where he had to resign his efforts on avoiding Obito. Because _clearly_ fate was working against him.

  
Obito glances into Kakashi's cart.

  
"That's a lot of dog food."

  
"Well, I have a lot of dogs."

  
"Huh", Obito simply replies.

They both continue down the aisle, looking for the next item to buy.

  
"I'm more of a cat person," Obito eventually continues.

  
"I know."

  
"You remember?"

  
Kakashi sent a look of disbelief his way. This entire conversation came out of nowhere to begin with.

  
"Am I supposed not to?"

  
"_Ahh_", Obito cast his gaze sideways in a way that Kakashi doesn't dare consider endearing. But it is. "You know what I mean."

  
Kakashi knows all too well what he's hinting at. But this is also exactly what he was trying to avoid and he was not going to confront it in a supermarket's dairy section of all places.

  
"Anyway, how come you know Naruto?" Kakashi decides to ask. Hopefully his intent to change topic came across. Besides, he was curious about that anyway. He doesn't think Minato ever got the chance to tell him he had a son.

  
"The blonde kid? A friend of Konan's told me I should look for him", seeing Kakashi's attentive nod he continues, "he's supposed to be close with the other Uchiha, Sasuke."

“Anyone could have told you that.”

“That much I've realized.”

  
They start loading the cart's contents onto the checkout counter.

  
"Any specific reason why you're looking for him?" Kakashi presses on.

  
Obito just shrugs, readying his wallet.

"Family matters."

  
That was answer enough, and to be expected. Not really interested to pry into his private life, he decides to leave it at that. He already knew how he could react if he forced himself into it, after all.

  
They each pay for their set of groceries and leave the store. Kakashi stacks up the piles of dog food and throws them over his shoulder, picking up the grocery bag with his other hand. He wobbles a bit on his feet before he gets used to the odd weight distribution. When he looks up, he catches Obito staring at him.

  
"Do you need help with that?"

  
Suddenly Kakashi remembers the last time he had agreed to someone carrying his bags for him. That someone being of course none other than Gai, who wouldn't stop making a challenge out of it. Kakashi had given in eventually, completely forgetting Gai's overzealous nature, and next thing he knew he was being carried piggy-back _with_ his groceries still in hand. The looks they had received from passersby sometimes still came to haunt his dreams. A shudder runs down his spine. He would never go shop with Gai again.

  
"Don't you dare", it almost sounds like a threat.

  
Obito then raises an eyebrow at him before letting out a huff.

  
"Couldn't hurt to ask."

  
Kakashi would like to think otherwise.

  
Once they had run out of small talk the only other and more pressing topic, _them_, remained. And he doesn't know about Obito, but Kakashi really didn't want to talk about that right now.

  
So they walk back to the housing complex in uncomfortable silence. The air between them loaded with unspoken conversation. But neither of them wanted to be the first to talk, it seemed._ Ridiculous._ They were absolutely ridiculous, Kakashi thinks. What had once been so easy, now seemed like the biggest obstacle. Back to square one.

__________

  
They stand in the hallway – only illuminated by the moonlight breaking through the window, scattering the last remaining colours of dusk on their skin. They're standing right in front of their doors, unmoving, as if expecting the other to talk. Obito scratches the back of his head, opening his mouth before closing it again. Kakashi has already readied his keys to open the door, but waits, key dangling off his finger.

  
"I know it doesn't mean anything to say it now... but for what it's worth, I am really sorry for what happened", Obito shuffles on his feet, "You know, back then."

  
"Are you sure you want to talk about this right now?"

  
Because right now Kakashi's shoulder was getting numb from the strain of carrying so many bags of dog food. He should have gotten over himself and accepted the offer back in the parking lot.

  
"I didn't know when else to bring it up. You've kind of been avoiding me, so I figured I'd get it over with while I can."

_Oh._ He noticed. Considering how he's been acting towards Obito, his reasoning seemed sound. It didn't change anything about how he felt, though. It would take more than that.

Having him disappear from his life so suddenly left a scar on his soul that changed him profoundly. Sorry wouldn't cut it.

  
"I would much rather hear your reasons than an apology."

  
"I know."

  
"So?"

  
"What, like, now?"

  
"You're right.” _This is stupid._ “Let's do this another time."

  
"Yeah."

  
They each retreat to their own apartments.


	3. Matching the Pace

Ever since Kakashi decided to stop avoiding Obito, their accidental meet-ups lost their alienating effect – instead, he was now almost looking forward to them with a cold curiosity. Each time they would talk a bit more than the last. Conversation seemed easier now, somehow, less loaded – even though there was one they would still have to have at some point. He wondered when they would break through that wall.

Sometimes they would just share the walk back home. Other times, especially if they met at the bar, they went a bit further than that. With alcohol having removed any of his last restraints, Kakashi just couldn't keep his hands off him. But they didn't talk about that the morning after, either. There was an unspoken agreement that it would just make things more difficult between them, if they did. It had taken them a few weeks to adjust to one another, but they had found a rhythm that worked. At least for now.  
  
Night had caught the city of Konoha in a deep embrace. Darkness running its roots through the various streets and alleys, only hushed away where the street shed light on the pavement. A pleasantly warm breeze brushed past, announcing the arrival of summer. During nights like these, walking his dogs felt less of a chore. Not that he minded it that much, but it wasn't always easy to motivate himself to go outside. In the end he had no choice, though, as he did love them.

He wouldn't say he had a favorite among the eight of them, but Pakkun held a special place in his heart. That dog truly got him. Said dog was leisurely trotting beside him, the only one without a leash, while the others all pulled in different directions at different speeds. Kakashi was used to it by now, but that didn't make it any less of an entertaining sight for people passing by. He was just grateful that Gai had offered him to take over the morning walks for him. Although he imagined that in his case, it was him pulling the dogs, not the other way around. Because ever since, his dogs were much less energetic throughout the day, making the nights all the more bearable. God knows what kind of marathons he was running with them. Kakashi smiled at the image going through his head.

  
Suddenly, Biscuit who was in the front, jerked his leash forward. And when the other dogs followed, he almost stumbled.

  
"You weren't lying when you said you have a lot of dogs."

  
_Obito._ Judging from the loose hoodie and worn jeans he was wearing, he didn't intend to run into anyone tonight, yet he made conversation.

  
"Maa, what can I say. It's like I have a big family."

  
"Family, huh. Sounds nice."

The forlorn look on his face was all it took for Kakashi to remember. Obito grew up practically alone, just like him. The family Obito had around him was a faceless mask, only sparing him their attention when he provided results – and that was something he rarely did. The boy he knew used to be a bit clumsy, awkward at times, trying his best but never quite achieving what was expected of him. Kakashi used to make fun of him for that, arrogant as he was, but he knows now how pressuring the expectations of others could be. He wonders how the Uchiha had fared after he left, but with the pace they were going right now, he wasn't going to find out anytime soon.

  
"Want to walk with us?"

The words leave his mouth easier than he would have liked.

They both remain silent for a bit. He realizes that Obito probably would have preferred to stray through the park alone. That, or he didn't know how to deal with this many dogs.

  
"They won't... bite me, _right?_" Obito points at Biscuit who was particularly reactive towards his presence.

  
"No promises", Kakashi says flatly, but his face made it clear it was all in good humor.

  
"Hold on, let me at least call Konan or something before I get torn to shreds."

He was playing along. That was a good sign.

  
Kakashi walks by him and gives him a soft but forceful pat on the back. Little physical gestures like that had started to become normal between them again.

  
"From what little I know, she'd let you."

  
"You're probably right", Obito looks at him bemusedly and starts moving as well.

They ended up walking beside each other.  
  
For most of the walk they talk about everything and nothing. The words carried on between them, lifted up by the night breeze which blew past every now and then. They had hardly had the chance to talk for such a long time ever since Obito returned to the city. It was pleasant, comfortable even. So much so, that the click of the front door opening was almost like a switch that snapped Kakashi out of a trance. He hadn't realized they had already come so far.

It was almost like old times, when time seemed to move so fast their steps barely managed to catch up. Except now was different. There was less bickering, more understanding – weirdly enough. It was... nice. When he rummaged through his pocket to get his keys, he noticed that Obito was still standing next to him. Hands in his pockets, he showed no signs of moving. Was he waiting for something?

Kakashi was sure he would regret giving in, but the impulse had already burst open his mouth.

  
"Want to come over for a bit?”

Realizing that they had never visited each others places before without the intention to hook up, he quickly adds, “I can pour us a drink."

  
Obito pulls his hands out of his pockets, rubbing away at his scarred palm – probably mulling the invitation over.

"Yeah, why not."

  
He tried to let Obito step in first, but his dogs had already pushed past the door the moment it opened. The other didn't seem to mind, though, expression on his face softening at the sight of Kakashi's eager friends.  
  
With the dogs now preoccupied with their fresh refill of food, they should remain unbothered for at least a while. Kakashi sauntered into the kitchen, Obito following closely after. Upon opening one of his cabinets, he hears a whistle behind him.

"Got quite the assortment at home."

  
Kakashi pulls out a bottle of wine, placing it on the table with a resounding thud.

"Hope red's okay with you."

  
"Sure, whatever. I'll only have a little anyway."

  
"What, you expect me to drink the whole bottle by myself?"

  
Obito gives him a judging look that pierces right through him.

  
"Maybe not wine then."

  
"Don't let me stop you."

  
He watches Obito raise his hands defensively and pace back to the pack of dogs. Kakashi could meanwhile look for some appropriate glasses – or rather, the only appropriate ones he owned. Living on your own sometimes meant only owning the bare essentials. And sometimes that meant having to replace those things with something else because they happen to be stuck in the dishwasher, which desperately tried to keep up with the demands of a household.

  
He ends up filling two regular glasses. Wine in hand, he retraces his steps to where Obito was. Now squatting on the floor, he was practically blanketed by dogs eager to get a closer look of the unfamiliar face. Even Pakkun, who was otherwise one of the more reclusive ones, didn't shy away from the man's touch. Kakashi's heart nearly melted at the sight. But he quickly pushes that unwanted feeling away. And Obito – expression in his eyes warm and kind – could barely stop petting them, even when he already registered Kakashi's presence.

  
Eventually he looks up at Kakashi, then at the glasses.

  
"Classy."

  
"Quality glasses for quality wine."

__________

  
Time showed itself in passing. Not with the sound of the clock in the hallway ticking away the remainders of the day, but rather: in the way the surface of the wine kept sinking lower before rising up again, the way laughter glowed brighter while the curtain of the night drew closer in on them. And the way the touch of hands, soft brushes at first, became stronger in intent.

  
  
Obito paces around the apartment. Dragging his feet across the floor, he slowly picks the place apart with his gaze, which eventually falls on Kakashi's bookshelf. _Oh no._

He pulls out a book, flipping through it with a curious expression.

  
"Is this porn?"

  
"No, it's not", he says a bit too quickly to not come off as suspicious.

  
"So definitely porn."

  
"I prefer the term adult literature."

  
"_Literature_", Obito repeats, a bit too smugly.

  
Kakashi doesn't know why he's suddenly being so defensive about his incorrigible taste in books. His reading habits were no secret to his friends, that's for sure, but one would assume that a librarians private book collection wasn't solely comprised of cheesy erotica.

  
As if to add to the embarrassment, Obito walks towards him, book in hand, and starts reading out loud.

  
"And he kept hitting that sensitive spot repeatedly, eliciting several muttered curses from his lover. _Fuck. Yeah._ Right there– ", he practically breathes into Kakashi's ear, delivering each line effortlessly. A shiver runs down his spine.

A satisfied grin settles on Obito's face as he sees his face redden. Kakashi snatches the book out of his hand.

  
"Have you considered becoming an actor? Because the way you act is unbelievable."

  
"I actually was one before I came back here", Obito said matter-of-factly, "I was never into this genre though."

There was that shit-eating grin again. Kakashi wanted to kiss that expression off his face. He actively ignores the nagging voice in his brain that told him why he wanted to do that.

  
"What are you into then?" Kakashi says as he tosses the book to the side and slowly pushes him against the bookshelf.

  
"I think you already know."

  
Hands settle on his hips.

  
"Indulge me", his words a mere breath away from Obito's neck.

  
"Oh, I'm about to."

  
Kakashi feels his body tugged closer. Then there's a mouth on his, hot and hungry. He tries to meet each and every one of the kisses Obito gives him, but his pace is too fast for him - already moving onto the next step. Teeth scrape against his bottom lip, biting down, then tugging his mouth open. Kakashi lets him. Their tongues finally meet.

They stand there for a while, pushed against the shelf – bodies rutting against each other, creating friction whenever the feel of tongue on tongue no longer is enough. At some point Obito's hands had wandered to Kakashi's back. He feels them trace down his spine, traveling further down until they reach his ass. A firm squeeze made Kakashi grind his hips against him. There is a low growl. He feels it vibrate beneath his fingers as they roam across Obito's chest, abdomen, and thighs. Trying to feel as much of him as he could, he keeps pressing closer only to grow annoyed at the layer of fabric separating them. He makes quick work of his belt, while the other takes off his shirt. The rest of the clothes follow immediately after.  
  
__________

The rays of the morning sun tickle warmth into Kakashi's skin. Upon waking, he drags his hand across his face before letting it flop down beside him. _Empty. _He tries to ignore the pang of disappointment lurking inside his mind. Nor does he want to linger on the implications of such feelings existing in the first place. Sinking further into the mattress, he fondly recalls last evening, embracing the soreness softly prickling the nerves in his body.

  
Pakkun announces himself with the sound of paws tapping softly against the wooden bedroom floor before flopping down right on top of him. His eyes meet a big-eyed stare. And Kakashi could swear that he was being chewed out. Thank god dogs couldn't talk.

  
"Don't give me that."

  
Then he throws off the blanket and Pakkun almost with it.

  
"You'll get a treat if you stop doing that."

Tail wagging. Yeah, _thought so._

  
Kakashi wanders into the kitchen, checking the clock in the corridor along the way. 6 AM. He still had some time before had to brace himself for the sight of a man in green spandex beneath his window. He gets ready like he usually does, a little less tired than usually. Even though _usually_ also didn't encompass so many thoughts running through his mind at once. Surely work would help him distract himself from... _whatever this was.  
_


	4. Shifting Gears

_Whatever it was_, it kept happening.

By the time he realized it, weeks had passed. Their encounters were now expected but still a welcoming surprise. Each morning a soft reset between them, allowing for their game of pretend to continue.  
  
But they haven't seen each other for a while now. The library was renovating and the work surrounding that had kept Kakashi busy. He worked a lot more now, even outside business hours. The task was kind of forced onto him, to be honest, but over the years he had grown to love this place; he had no choice but to help out, even if his paycheck didn't agree with it. He also didn't like that he barely had time for himself lately. And when there was time, he was too tired to even move. Kakashi was starting miss his little chats with Obito, though... and the physical aspect of them. For the first time, in what seems to be forever, he became conscious of something missing and the aching gap it left behind - a change from the usual dull numbness tangled around his thoughts.

__________  
  
With a wide swing the doors to the library open and Kakashi steps outside. He runs a hand through his hair to comb out the stress. He hadn't really been able to focus much on work today, so the piles kept building up and up – and not wanting to leave Rin hanging, he had rushed to sort through them all shortly before his shift ended.

Around this hour the street was already starting to empty out, so it wasn't hard to spot a familiar figure on the other side of it. Obito was perched on his bike comfortably, helmet hooked between his arm. When he spots Kakashi, he raises his hand in greeting.

  
"Yo, 'Kashi! Need a ride?"

  
Kakashi already knew he was going to accept – the last time they got to spend some time together too long ago – but he pretended to mull the invitation over just to see his reaction.

  
"Hmm, I don't know. I could just walk."

  
"I mean", he watches Obito fidget with his leather gloves while his expression remained unchanged. Despite his current intimidating appearance, he still had kept some of his nervous habits, "You don't have to."

  
"Just scoot over."

  
Obito flashes him a grin which warms his heart. He's become painfully aware of his feelings during their time apart. And as hard as it was to ignore them at this point, he didn't feel ready to confront them yet.

  
"Here, catch", a helmet was tossed his way, "Wouldn't want to hurt that pretty face of yours."

  
"Maa, I heard scars only make people hotter."

  
Obito's eyes, which held his gaze with a squint, widened at that remark - even if just for a split second.

“Just put it on.”

  
A soft pout took away all the harshness from his face, gracing his rough features in a kind light.

  
Kakashi puts on the helmet and sits behind Obito. Suddenly painfully aware of their proximity, he decides to leave just enough space between them so that they don't touch. To support himself, he grabs the sides of the bike behind him and props himself up. Although, considering their previous encounters this was a ridiculous thing to do. But for some reason, any physical affection between them outside of bed shed an entirely different light on the whole situation.

  
He's pulled out of his thoughts by an engine being revved repeatedly.

  
"Stop being a show-off."

  
"But isn't that the fun part?" Obito turns his head to face him directly, eyes crinkling with what is probably a satisfied smile.

  
Kakashi rolls his eyes.

  
"If you don't start driving now, I'll seriously walk."

  
"I would, but... Are you not gonna hold onto me? You'll fall off, Bakakashi."

  
"Thanks. I'm good."

The offer was tempting, but he already made a point not to get too close in the first place. His hands would remain where they are, which was far away from that man's body, because god knows where he would put them again.

Obito shrugs and returns his attention to the handle bars.

To Kakashi's surprise, they drove rather slowly – just fast enough to feel the brush of air, but too slow to justify his iron grip on the seat. He's never driven on a motorcycle before and he would be lying if he said he wasn't the tiniest bit terrified of it. But as he watched the buildings roll by and felt the sound of the engine pump through the air, he finds himself relax soon. The sight of Obito's sturdy back, jacket flattering in the wind, especially helped to soothe his mind. Were they in a different situation, he would have put his arms around him. But he had already stubbornly refused the opportunity. With good reason. They were friends... well, _something like that._ Nothing more.

  
He returns his attention to the street. When he sees the roof of their housing complex up ahead, he feels a bit disappointed that the ride would end so soon.

Kakashi was almost ready to hop off, but the bike kept moving. Front door flashing past them, as the wheels ran across the asphalt with higher speed, until the house was lost in the horizon between the many vast layers of the city again.

  
"You just drove past it."

  
Obito keeps his eyes fixed on the street in front of them, "I know. Just trust me."

  
Big words, but he'll bite. Kakashi didn't want to leave yet anyway.

He changed his mind when they entered the highway, city already long left behind. From one moment to the next, the speed they were going had more than doubled and the change of momentum almost sent him reeling. Almost. If he hadn't held onto Obito for dear life as quickly as possible.

  
He was just about to reprimand him, but the words got stuck in his throat. Obito tipped his head back and _laughed_, confident and bright. It was a brief moment, almost as transient as the vague impression of the surroundings rushing past them. Even in the blur of it all, it happened very clearly in front of Kakashi's eyes. Obito was right in front of him and he was beautiful. They had come a long way since their smudged past and even more messy reunion. There was no point in denying that somewhere along the way he had fallen in love. Kakashi tightens his grip, holding on to the moment. He can feel the shape of tense muscles relax beneath his fingers.

__________

  
It is not until they finally stop that Kakashi feels how fast they were going. His feet meet solid ground, steps feather-light. When he takes off the helmet, his head still feels the freshness of the air breathe against his skin. He inhales deeply, closing his eyes. When he opens them again it's as if he registers his surroundings for the first time again - a still shot of a landscape in front of his eyes. They had stopped somewhere off-road, a few miles away from the outer districts of Konoha. What he thought to have left behind now lied directly in front of him – city dancing in a hue of gold as the sun was slowly setting behind the cold walls of concrete, paving the way for the night.

  
Kakashi just stood there and watched. The serenity of the moment ruptured only by a low voice next to him.

  
"You seemed really busy lately, so I figured... I'd help take your mind off things."

  
He turned to face Obito who was still leaning against the bike.

  
"You say that but we're still fully dressed" Kakashi closes his eyes in a smile. It was a joke, but also not far from the truth they'd been living.

  
"S-shut up!”, he covers his face with his hand almost immediately, “God, remind me to never do something nice for you again."

He was... flustered? The sight was adorable, to say the least.

  
"I don't mind things like this, though", he says as he joins Obito on the bike, sitting close enough for their bodies to brush against each other. "It's a nice change of pace."

Neither of them speaks for a while.

Then Kakashi feels an arm circle around his waist. Not sure if it's from the tint of the sunset or because of the earlier embarrassment, he catches warm color spread across Obito's face from the corner of his eye.

  
"I almost thought I'd have to bring you to another bar to help you unwind."

  
"You say that as if you hadn't been there yourself."

  
"Ahh, yeah. I come because of the people, but I don't really like to drink."

  
"You don't?"

  
"Apart from the occasional drink when I'm out with friends? Not really."

  
"I do... a lot”, it almost felt like a confession when said sober. But right now a drink was the last thing on his mind.

  
"So I've noticed."

  
"Yeah... it's a coping habit."

  
"A bad one, if you ask me", Obito turns to face him with a serious expression.

  
"I'm aware”, he avoids it.

  
The silence that follows hangs heavily above them.

  
"You should look out for yourself.”

  
"I try... it's gotten better", which probably doesn't sound nearly as convincing as it should. But it's the truth. He's almost glad Obito wasn't there to witness his worst years.

  
Obito just hums in reply as if not entirely acknowledging it and Kakashi thinks he has every right to do so. Their past encounters didn't exactly serve to support his claim.

  
"What do you do... to cope?"

  
He knew that Obito's past was also loaded; the scars were telling enough. He never intended to inquire about that part of him, though. He watches Obito shift a bit in his position, as if the question itself caused him physical discomfort. For a moment, Kakashi thinks he's not going to get an answer, but he eventually does.

  
"I act. The less I am myself, the better I feel", he sounded different when he said that; voice a little rough around the edges, but honest.

There's a question Kakashi almost doesn't dare to ask. They're already navigating thin ice, avoiding the most visible cracks, but he was about to walk on them all the same. He had to know.

  
"Is this", he leaves the words hanging between them as if they were supposed to fill in the lack of meaning, "also an act?"

  
"I don't know.”

  
"You don't know?" He can't help but feel a bit frustrated, for his own sake.

  
"My life was out of my control for so long that now that I am finally able to decide on my own, it's become hard to recognize what I want for myself."

  
Kakashi feels the frustration dissipate almost as fast it had bubbled up. _Right._ He still had no idea what happened in the years they hadn't seen each other. He had almost forgotten, mind too preoccupied with the present for once.

  
"What was it like before?"

  
"Like a pitch-black hole."

  
Kakashi didn't know what to say. He knows what it feels like, but he would never say it so openly.

  
"I wanted to die, Kakashi. And I almost did, in an accident. Left me practically paralyzed for quite some time. Felt even more useless, then."  
  
Silence.  
  
"You still like to drive fast, though."

  
"I like the freedom that comes with it.” There's a pause. "The freedom that was taken from me."

  
"What do you mean?"

Honestly this conversation was getting a bit too heavy for him to absorb without something to help ease it into his system. He didn't expect Obito to open up, like ever. As sudden as it was, he decides to take it all in. This was what he wanted to hear after all, so he was going to listen.

  
"I never told you, but I used to live with my uncle – one of the most influential family members. When I was practically disowned for not excelling at everything like I was expected to, he took me in. Spoke of some hidden potential", he kicks a pebble in front of his feet, "Such bullshit. All he did was twist my head with his ramblings, making me his puppet – trying to make up for all the opportunities the family had taken from him when it was time for the next generation to shine. It made me angry. So, so angry. I actually hit him a couple of times, but that was nothing compared to what he did to me. Nothing was ever good enough for that man._ I _was never enough. He always had to aim higher than before. Eventually reaching for the impossible. And I had to bear it all.”

Obito pauses to look at him.

Kakashi nods to show that he's still willing to listen.

“Then that bastard finally decided to kick the bucket. Was about time, if you ask me. It's why I came back. The family somehow had to find out. Give that geezer some place to rest or something."

  
"That's why you were looking for Sasuke", he says more to confirm for himself than to interrupt him.

  
"Yeah, I had hoped he was still in touch with them but I had no idea the kid cut ties as well", he snorts, "No wonder the general public can't stand us with all the infighting."

He watches Obito take a deep breath and exhale: slow and long – probably to clear out the heavy atmosphere.

  
"All this was happening... and you didn't tell me _why?_" Kakashi eventually asks.

  
"I had some issues. Ask the locker."

  
"Fair point. This does put things into perspective."

  
"It doesn't justify anything though”, Obito stares at the space between them, "I hurt you. A lot. Rin, too. Everyone. I was a total ass hat."

  
"You're different now."

  
"You're just giving me too much credit."

  
"And you're being too hard on yourself."

Kakashi takes Obito's hands in his.

  
The other looks down at them, before directing his gaze back up, expression searching.

"Why do you put up with me?"

  
"Been there myself."

  
"Right... I almost forgot. I'm sorry."

  
Kakashi runs his thumb along the scarred cheek, caressing uneven skin.

  
"I know. You already said that."

  
Obito places his hand on top of his, leaning into the touch.

  
"We really shouldn't do this. It might change us."

  
They lean closer, close enough for their lips to brush against each other.

  
"Then let it."

  
Their lips meet in a kiss, soft and languid. Followed by another. And another. Kakashi runs his fingers through Obito's dark hair, tugging him closer, wrapping himself around him. They communicate without words, telling the other that it's okay. A touch. That they're forgiven. A kiss. No amount of talking could smooth out the bumpy terrain between their hearts, but none of that mattered. Not when they had each other.

Eventually their lips part, hands still on each other. Night has already long taken over, waking the street lamps to share their light with them.  
  
  
"It's getting late”, Obito's words are muffled from where they're buried in his neck.

  
"It is."

  
"Any chance you don't work tomorrow?"

  
Kakashi leans against him, "I'll just call in sick."

  
"Woah", Obito chuckles, leaning back, "what happened to our perfect attendance Hatake?"

  
"I left him standing in a hallway."

  
"Oh", Obito said eloquently before looking away with a somewhat guilty expression.

  
Kakashi laughs.

"No need to feel bad. It's alright."

  
He pats his hand before resting it on top. _We're alright,_ he thinks.  



	5. Turning the Page

"Hey, Obito. It's Rin. Can you come to the bar?"

  
"Sorry, I'm not really in the mood for drinking."

  
"That's not what I mean."

There's a sigh coming from the other end. Then a few words directed at what is probably Konan, judging from the voice.

"Can you come pick up Kakashi? He's drunk."

  
"Of course he is", his mind drifts to the kitchen cabinet he's seen more times than he can count.

  
"Shut it, you know he's trying."

  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming."

__________

  
When he arrives, he sees Tenzou rubbing away at Kakashi's back. Over time he had gotten to know most of his friends and Tenzou usually wasn't hard to spot. Wherever Kakashi was, that man was nearby. Something about their closeness tells him they used to be a thing... or still are. He kicks that thought out of his head almost immediately. Kakashi wouldn't cheat, especially not on someone as good as him.

When he approaches them, Tenzou turns his head and nods in greeting, tired expression on his face. Obito knows exactly what he's going through. While Kakashi could hold his drink pretty well, the state he was in when he went past his limits was almost unbearable to watch.

  
"Sorry to call you out so late,” Tenzou says apologetically with a wave of hand.

  
It's true, it was 1 AM; but Obito usually didn't head to sleep before much later anyway, so this was hardly an issue – apart from having to get dressed.

  
"How's he doing?" He asks as if to ignore the obvious.

  
"See for yourself", Tenzou taps Kakashi on the shoulder to get his attention. The latter lulls his head back and leans forward to wave almost directly in front of Obito's face.

  
"Yoooo, Obito! You here too??"

  
If the way he was acting wasn't telling enough, the slur of his words gave away the state he was in.

Obito sends a look towards Tenzou and mouths. _How could you let this happen._

The other frowns and gestures with his hands. _You know how he is._

Sadly he does. But he was no different, in his own ways. They were made for each other in that sense - meaning they were absolutely hopeless.

  
Obito feels a pat on his shoulder.

  
"Just get him home, please."

  
He knows it's Rin before he even turns around – which he shouldn't have done. If he hadn't, he would have been able to decline. He really didn't like to deal with drunk people, even if they were people he cared about. Yet there was an urgency in her expression that he was never able to look away from. Obito's shoulders sag – Rin had won. As always. He sighs in resignation.

  
"Fine."

  
He walks up behind Kakashi and props him up, draping an arm over his shoulder. As he walks out he directs one quick glance back at the others.

  
"Have fun, you guys", he doesn't bother hiding the snark in his remark.

  
"You too!” Rin cheers back in an equal manner.

  
"Ha. ha."

__________  
  
  
They barely manage a few steps outside before Kakashi turns pale and heaves. Oh no, he's going to throw up, he thinks.

  
But he doesn't. Just in case, Obito leads him away to the park nearby and sits him down on a bench. Hopefully the fresh air would do him some good. Sitting down next to him, he rubs Kakashi's back in soft circles – affectionate gesture already second nature at this point.

"You going to be alright?"

  
He hears a groan.

  
"No... I neeeeed a piece of paper."

  
"What."

  
"Gimme somethin' to write on. 's important", he forms grabby hands as if his demand wasn't straight-forward enough.

  
"It's more important that you go the fuck to sleep."

  
Kakashi let his head hang. The way his messy bangs covered his face was unbearable to watch. Unbearably cute. And impossible to not make Obito want to run his hand through it and get them out of his face. But he held himself back. He didn't want to push the throw-up-all-over-Obito-button on accident. It had happened before.

  
"Alright. I'll go get something."

"You. Stay. Right here."

He points downwards, accentuating each word with a distinct movement.

  
There really was no reason for him to comply a drunk middle-aged man's wishes. But when you were in love with said man, it was hard to decline practically any wish of his.

__________  
  
  
He returns with an empty receipt paper and a ballpoint pen he had snagged from the bar they just left. Kakashi hadn't moved an inch, staring off into the distance as if he were fixated on something.

  
Obito waves the items in front of his face to get his attention, "Here you go."

  
He hands him paper and pen, making sure not to drop it, and waits. Kakashi was probably going to scribble a dog and say it was one of his. Or even better, he would say it was Obito. Provided he even managed to create something recognizable in his state. Seeing him like this worried him, truth be told, but he would indulge him. He'd get him home afterwards.

  
Obito's eyes are glued to the paper. He stares at wobbly letters, ink breaking through the texture of a slightly crumpled surface. It takes him some time to decipher, but once he's discerned the shape of the letters the message comes across clearly. _I love you. _Fondness overtakes his state of mind, the paper in his hands feeling completely weightless – then he remembers his current situation.

  
He feels his face contort with laughter but quickly covers it up, burying his face in his elbow. He should be happy about the sentiment, but everything about this situation is just ridiculous. His high school crush dropping the L word with a scribble in a drunk stupor. He probably deserves it.

He pretends not to pay it any mind, but safely stores the slip of paper away in his pocket.

  
"Let's get you home, Bakakashi”, he says, unable to hide the fondness in his voice.

Pulling Kakashi back onto his feet, he wonders how he got here in the first place. He hadn't even intended to stay in Konoha for so long.

__________

  
_When he first arrived here in the brink of the morning, he hadn't expected any of this. To be fair, he hardly expected anything to come out of his life. But now everything was possible - the doors were open. His mind was still reeling from the thought that he could finally do whatever he wanted, so Konan's invitation to meet up with the squad was very welcome. Some time off with his friends would do him good before he inevitably had to deal with the whole family thing._

_She had already told him that there was something going on between her and Rin, so seeing _ her _ was no surprise. Still nice, though. Who he didn't expect to see, was Kakashi. Checking him out rather obviously, too. Obito had barely touched the one drink he had ordered all the while that man lined up shots like his life depended on it. He watched him in utter disbelief. _

_Had it been anyone else he would have just sent them away. He really wasn't in the mood for dealing with people other than his friends – but he was also curious how things would play out between them. It also definitely helped his decision that Kakashi was handsome as hell now. He's always been, really – but it never hit Obito this hard before. Kakashi had grown into a man offering beauty wherever eyes could reach. Obito tried to savour all of it. His half-lidded eyes, the dragged sound of his voice bumping over the lightness of his words, his slender hands roaming over his body. And his lips... with a beauty mark most subtle right next to them. As much as there was to talk about between them, he also felt like there was nothing to say at all. As much as his mind kept circling back to the past in a blurred motion, everything came back into focus, when Kakashi started touching him. In hindsight, there was no way he could have said no._

__________

  
To think that their little adventure would not remain a singular event, was also not something he expected. It scared him how quickly he got used to the entire thing. He usually didn't stick to the same person due to his mind-crippling trust issues, but something kept drawing him back in.  
  
As their apartments draw closer, he sends another look towards Kakashi. He was starting to doze off. Good. He'd definitely need the rest tomorrow as well as some aspirin.

__________  
  
_That night he'd seen it for the first time – Kakashi's face. Back when they were young, a severe case of asthma had him cover his face almost constantly. It was the only way to counter the cloud of pollution that used to hang above Konoha, making breathing hard for most people. That was before things changed, before he left._

_  
Seeing Kakashi covering his face to feign sickness, made him feel sort of nostalgic. A pang of affection in his chest. He didn't know if it was because of memories resurging or because of the act being cute within itself._

__________  
  
_Obito knew he was screwed when he met him that night at the park. Stomache bubbling with all sorts of emotions he had forgotten even existed, just at the sight of him. He initially left house to air out his mind from the negativity that crept into his mind. It always found its way back, somehow. Kakashi was a welcoming distraction, then. At first, he wasn't sure if they would even be able to talk for such a long time without it becoming awkward. After all, their previous conversation were mostly small talk, nothing of substance – an effort to avoid the big questions that no doubt would sneak their way back into their lives. But his doubts were quickly cast away, when Kakashi even invited him to come over. It was weird how adults worked – ignoring even the most apparent issues was easy, when you pretended to be functional. Something neither of them both were._

__________

He fishes the key to Kakashi's apartment out of his pocket. If things continued the way they were, Obito should consider asking him for a spare to save himself the trouble next time. As far as he was concerned, they might as well move in together – they practically breathed the same air most of the time anyway. Then again, he lived right next to him, so the matter wasn't nearly as urgent. Sadly.

__________

  
_He doesn't know if Kakashi was even aware of it, but he called him for a ride with the full intention of laying things out into the open and spend time together. If the mood was right, and Kakashi felt the same, he hoped, that maybe... they could smooth things over between them. Just enough to move on._  
  
_ When he saw Kakashi's face, expression content and illuminated by the setting sun in a warm array of colors, his own body filled with warmth – he suddenly forgot all the things he meant to say. Obito had to backpedal entirely and improvise. Something he had gotten pretty good at in his line of acting, thankfully. He wasn't sure how it would play out, but when Kakashi was there to pick him up with one of his playful remarks, he felt the floodgates of his mind open. He trusted this man. He should let him know. Obito had long forgotten how to be honest with his feelings, so he ended up jumping the whole thing on Kakashi without so much as an explanation._

__________  
  
He sends one last look towards Kakashi who had passed out almost as soon as he touched the bed. He pets Biscuit on his way out of the apartment before closing the door behind him. Obito feels the shape of the paper in his pocket. Kakashi wouldn't remember this, but he would.

__________

The next day rolled in almost as soon as Obito had finally managed to go to sleep. Disregarding the fact that he had trouble sleeping most of the time anyway, unless he was covered by another man, he kept tossing and turning last night.

He picks up the piece of paper he had placed on the night table and looks it over again. There was no need for him to take it this seriously, the ramblings of a drunk man, but he just couldn't get it off his mind. He knows they had gotten close over time, mending old wounds with new memories, and somewhere within him he hoped they could become even closer. His hopes were now laid out in front of him in the shape of wobbly letters.

He gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom. Obito watches himself in the mirror, shoulders hanging low, a pitiful expression on his face. He tries to wash it off with a handful of cold water. Supporting himself on the edge of the sink, he lets his head hang and the wetness drip off his face. _Drop_. He couldn't just wait for Kakashi to confront him again. _Drop_. If he wanted things to change, he had to make an effort himself._ Drop_. And he had already wasted enough time waiting for change to happen.

__________

Obito knocks on the door.

_No answer. _

He's probably still passed out, he thinks. He knocks again, more forceful this time. He hears barking, then footsteps.

Kakashi peeks through the door, barely opened to not let the dogs move past him. He's rubbing away the exhaustion from his eyes. Obito almost reconsiders to allow the man to rest more.

“'Bito? What is it?”

Obito doesn't know how else to approach the topic, so he just pulls out the slip of paper, handing it to him.

“We should talk about this.”

Kakashi stares. First at the words written on the paper, then at Obito.

“This is not how I imagined your confession to go”, he eventually manages, “At least put in some effort.”

“I know that's what I was thinki–“, realization hit Obito, “Wait, I didn't write this!”

He tears the paper out of Kakashi's hand and points at it aggressively.

“This is your handwriting, idiot!”

“You sure?” Kakashi snatches it subtly out of his fingers again to look at it more closely, ”Hmm, you're right.”

He didn't really have the patience to play around now, “So–? What should I make of it?”

“I don't know. What do you want to make of it?” Kakashi gave him one of those smiles he reserved only for when he was messing with people. Obito was having none of it, not when his feelings were on the line.

“Oh no, don't you dare turn this around on me. I asked you first”, he steps closer and pins him with a stare.

“It means I love you. Simple as that. Make of it what you want.”

“You're serious?”

“As serious as can be. Took some extra help to get it out of me. Maybe I overdid it a little, though. That sure is some ugly handwriting.”

With a forceful push, Obito shoves Kakashi back inside – they lose balance and fall to the floor with Obito on top.

“I can't believe I fell in love with someone _so_ fucking stupid.”

He kisses him with his entire being, body pressing down on him – intent on showing the full extent of his intense emotions.

Kakashi breathes out a laugh when their lips part, “Maa, most people call me a genius.”

“Just shut up.”

“Then kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! ♥


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